Over the last few years, I can't think of many buzz words bandied around more than mental health, mindfulness and self care. One thing they have in common is the difficulty in finding a simple and clear explanation of what they mean. Self care in particular as it can vary massively from person to person. Often, the difficulty is actually practising self care as there seem to be so many barriers in the way. "I haven't got time, I'm too busy." "I have to put my family's / other people's needs first. "I don't feel worthy of doing nice things for me." It can be complicated but what I've learnt is that self care is the same as an oxygen mask on a plane. I have to look after myself first so I can be there for my family, other people, randomers and pet alpacas. 

I know for sure that when I don't take the time to practice self care, my physical, emotional and spiritual health are all affected. Everything I consider to be self care makes me feel good and happy. Even with that knowledge, recently I've struggled to find the motivation to include it in my daily life. Writing brings me more joy than anything else but this is the first blog post I've written since March. I love cycling but haven't ridden since the Ride London 100 mile challenge in May this year. It's a very similar story with swimming. I won't ever say I haven't time as I firmly believe we can all find time somewhere, even with crazy, full on lives. 

The last couple of months I've struggled mentally. Falling into a depressive episode, feeling I'm in a battle with my family who don't understand me and feeling life's too overwhelming. I wanted to run away, hide in a cave and listen to Kate Bush all day. I was also doom scrolling on my phone late at night which is never the answer to anything, ever. All those things felt real in the moment but they weren't. My family love me and all I need to do is face life, one day at a time. The one thing that remained constant was my morning routine which consisted of talking to my Higher Power, readings, meditation and journalling.   

On reflection, I think the reason I've struggled with self care is that I've either been in crisis mode with the girls or just felt overwhelmed with all I 'need' to do. The crazy thing is that by practising self care I'm better equipped to deal with everything life throws at me. A couple of weeks ago I found the motivation to go swimming again and it was so cathartic. I felt instantly calm and at peace. There was no-one asking me for anything, I was just having some quality time with myself. It wasn't a light bulb moment but it was a welcome reminder of how much better I feel when looking after myself. My morning routine is firmly ensconced in my life which feels reassuring and loving. The thought of having more of that feels absolutely joyful? Too much, a bit O.T.T? I don't think so, I know what a positive difference it makes so I'm doubling down on feeling joyful. Stop being so judgy and embrace the joy!

I would like to present to you a list, in no particular order, of things that make up self care for me. My aim and challenge is to introduce them into my life on a regular basis. Initially, an hour a day, and go from there. No pressure, no finger wagging from me if it doesn't happen. Can you relate to any of them and if not, think about what makes up self care for you. 

Creative writing:  Helps me get in touch with my inner child and my imagination. Also helps me connect with my feelings and generally feel happy.  

Swimming:  I shut off from the world feeling calm and relaxed. Well, unless someone's going really slowly and not in the right lane which is soooo annoying. Peace and love, peace and love, and relax. 

Cycling:  Similar to swimming but super charged. More freedom to explore, push myself physically and being in nature is the best.

Cinema:  Films are a big part of my life and you can't beat seeing them on a massive screen with immersive sound. I have an Unlimited membership so do this regularly already.

Ironing:  Don't laugh, I LOVE ironing. I switch off from the world and go to a place of Zen. I don't even need to watch tv or listen to Talk Sport at the same time. It's also incredibly satisfying.

Listening to Music:  This isn't having it on in the background whilst frantically trying to get 132 things done. It's sitting down, closing my eyes and really listening. Kate Bush is best obviously!

Drinking Water:  Again, no need to laugh, I'm serious. Without it we die so that's pretty important. Drinking plenty helps me focus more, think more clearly, improves my skin and much more. 

Sleep: I struggle massively when I don't get good sleep. I'm grumpy, impatient and find it hard to do anything. Ideally in bed asleep by 10.30pm and a nice 8 hours peaceful sleep. That's the dream. 

Putting My Phone Away:  I've tried life without a smart phone, it's almost impossible. Running two business and life in general, it's just not practical. What I can do is turn it off by 8pm and not scroll.

Quality Time With My Family: Laughing, enjoying each other's company and generally having fun, shared self care. This won't work if you don't like your family or find them incredibly annoying!

Reading:  I'm not going to lie and say I enjoy deep, meaningful literature about the meaning of life. When I do occasionally read, I immerse myself in the books of Jane Green and Lisa Jewel. 

Connect With My People:  Friends, family, anyone that I enjoy being with. Phone or video call, meeting up, anything. Life's too short to spend time with people that don't bring us joy and wellbeing.

So, that's my list. It's not exhaustive and of course can change and evolve. Obviously I do drink water and sleep but probably not enough of either. Sometimes I turn my phone off around 8pm but normally much later. I try not to doom scroll on FB reels and have deleted FB but magically it's soon back on my phone. For me, everything is about progress, not perfection. Living life 1 day at a time, doing the best I can do, that's good enough for me. Self compassion and acceptance, not beating myself up.

Initially I'd love to incorporate more swimming, cycling, reading and creative writing into my life. That alone will make such a positive difference to me and you'll find me floating on a cloud of contentedness, smiling like I know something you don't. It's 8am now and I'm going swimming in two hours so that's a good start to the day. Until next time......