Hello and welcome to 2025, a fresh year with infinite possibilities including Barbara Broccoli asking me to be the new James Bond. OK, so that's not very likely but I can dream can't I? Anyway, I had such a beautiful end to 2024 I wanted to share it with you. I was contacted a few weeks ago by Alex's* Grandma about his 11th birthday party on New Years Eve. She explained that he and the majority of the guests all had SEND (Special Educational Needs and Disabilities) and that an act geared towards 5–7-year-olds would be ideal for Alex and his friends. She was also very funny with her email responses and said Alex laughed when he heard my name, so I was already excited to do it!
Confession Time
Now, I'm going to admit something that I'm not particularly proud of. In the early days of Mr Banana Head back in the 1860s, I turned bookings down where the children all had SEND, purely out of fear. "How would I entertain them?" "What would I have to do differently?" Looking back, I can see this was also ignorance and I do feel bad about it. It didn't take me long however to realise the simple truth; children are children, regardless of any differences between them, SEND or otherwise. At parties, I'm constantly watching and being aware of how I may need to make adjustments, often minute to minute. Some children enjoy loud, in your face entertainment, some would run away and hide if faced with that. Personally, being in a social situation with a lot of people and noise is completely overwhelming. In a one-to-one situation I feel relaxed and really able to engage. It would be boring if we were all the same so we can embrace our individuality with pride!
Alex's Grandma explained he'd most likely need time to warm up and a gentle approach would be needed. I've never been a shouty entertainer, blasting music loud enough to shatter your eardrums, who would want that? I always come in quietly and greet the Birthday Banana Head gently and go from there. My priority is always that the birthday child feels comfortable at their party, whatever that means to them. On the day of the party, I learnt the number of children attending was going to be 7, lower than initially thought. I often get asked how many children is ideal for a party and there really isn't a set answer. Class parties are generally anywhere from 20-35 but I've had as many as 80 and as little as 2 for birthdays. School shows are often up to 200+. I love both ends of the scale but there is something special about small, intimate parties.
Meeting Alex, The Birthday Banana Head
When I arrived, Alex was there with a couple of cousins. I said I was looking for someone called Alex and did anyone know where he was. The cousins pointed to him and so I started talking to a chair next to him, "Hello Alex, it's lovely to meet you." He immediately started smiling and within a minute we were talking about his party, and he was laughing. Other friends arrived including Ameet, who asked about helping me do some magic. I explained that I ask for magic helpers and if he'd like to, he can put his hand up. I started the party and Ameet was sitting at the back with his mum. When I asked for a volunteer, his hand slowly went up and he proudly came up. I never normally choose the child that's overly exuberant about helping. I prefer choosing someone that has found the courage to raise their hand and wouldn't normally put themselves in the spotlight.
There was another friend, James who spent most of the party shouting out in excitement. Whether it was about Mango and his antics, wanting me to hurry up or 24 other random things, James was letting me know. Parents often apologise when their children are shouting out, heckling etc. Personally, it's never bothered me as it gives me a great opportunity to have some banter and keep me on my toes. Actually, that's not strictly true. I occasionally have someone who's seen me before and recites everything that's going to happen seconds before it does through the whole party. That's impressive but also a tad annoying. Sorry, not sorry.
So, lovely banter with James and eventually it was time for Alex's special birthday trick. He happily came up and seemed very comfortable. He laughed, I laughed, he did some amazing magic and had a massive smile etched across his face. We had some dancing and bubbles to finish and that was it. I'd enjoyed every minute and was a bit sad it was over. The parents / carers thanked me, and a couple said they appreciated it must have been a harder party than normal. It genuinely wasn't, if anything it was more enjoyable, and I always enjoy banter with hecklers! Most importantly, it looked like Alex had really enjoyed it so that left a warm fuzzy feeling inside.
Making A Positive Difference
As I started clearing away a mum came back into the room to talk to me. Her son Daniel had been sitting with her at the back and was wearing ear defenders. I had noticed him laughing throughout which always fills me with joy. As she started talking, she seemed to be visibly emotional, and her voice was breaking up. She explained that Daniel had complex needs and among them was severe anxiety. Often, he would be reticent to leave his house and children's parties were especially challenging for him. She went on to say that this was the first time she'd ever seen him laugh at a party, let alone belly laugh. I instinctively put my arms out and gave her a hug. I always feel torn in these situations; I don't want to overstep the mark and be over familiar but also want to be real and, in that moment, a gentle hug felt appropriate.
She continued talking, not just about Daniel but also Ameet, Alex and all the children in the class. How it's such a special environment for the children where they come together, and their differences are irrelevant. They just play as friends and have fun. How in some situations ie parties, some of them might not be chosen to 'help' due to what they look like. That really stung, society's judgements and prejudices over looks, gender, anything really are never pleasant to acknowledge or observe but they are there, and I don't think we should simply accept them as the norm, it's not. Sorry, that's me getting on my soap box a little bit.
I went home feeling so uplifted and joyful. Apart from seeing and hearing children laugh, one thing that always means so much is hearing how much parents / carers appreciate what difference the party has made to a particular child or all the children. I know my 'job' is a children's entertainer and I'm not under any deluded illusions that it's world changing. However, I totally appreciate how special it is to see you child / grandchild / pet goat come out of their shell and really connect with the joy inside them. Thank you Alex, Daniel, James and everyone else for helping to make this almost 55 year old (18 days til I'm eligible for Saga Cruises, yayyy) feel all emotional and grateful to do what I do.
UPDATE: After the party I decided I wanted to write a blog post about it and reached out to Alex's Grandma and Daniel's Mummy Sonia to let them know and ask if they were ok with it. They were and I said I'd send it to them before publishing. This was part of Sonia's reply. "Daniel was thrilled with the wand from the party bag too and tried to recreate some of your humour/tricks at home. A definite sign he enjoyed the show. He's autistic and is under CAMHS for severe anxiety, he has selective mutism so cannot talk in unfamiliar environments. When Alex's cake came out and everyone sang, Daniel was instead able to use sign language for the whole song. So many achievements to end the year with and much of it is down to the 'simplicity' of your act that made him feel happy and safe."
If that's not beautiful, heart warming and generally lovely I don't know what is. Just to note, "the simplicity of your act" is meant to be a compliment, it's not suggesting that it's basic and uninspiring. Actually, maybe it is, who knows, I don't! It's funny, engaging and Mango the Monkey's a hoot, just hold onto that!
Until next time.
*The names have been changed to protect the innocent. Sorry that's the first line of Beat Dis, by Bomb The Bass, a proper 80's tuuuune. I meant to say to protect anonymity.